I Wanna Slay At Thanksgiving

Turkey day is almost upon us! So how do we make family gatherings fun and relaxing (instead of stressful and chaotic)? How do I make conversation with weird relatives? What's actually tasty? Science has answers!

Everyone is going to ask me embarrassing questions, or want to talk politics. How do I make that easier?

First, set some gentle expectations: It's okay to decide you'll only stay for a few hours, or there are some topics you won't discuss, or you'll step outside at least once an hour for a break. Listen to yourself. (Though, careful with the gummies.)

Then, start some new traditions. Numerous studies show family rituals are what makes holidays feel special. So, host a pie competition. Instead of saying what everyone is grateful for (spoiler alert: 'family'), have everyone tell their favorite story about someone else at the table. Do a turkey trot. Or launch model rockets (we're going with this six-footer this year. It's gonna be awesome.)

Or, just ask questions. The Fast Friends Procedure is a list of 36 questions – Would you like to be famous? Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? When did you last cry in front of another person? – that make people feel closer (and let you avoid discussing politics).

Thanksgiving can be hard. So put everyone to work.

One national survey found that 79% of people get so focused on creating special moments for others during the holidays that they make themselves miserable.

But the most meaningful holiday memories come from shared efforts. Children want to be assigned tasks (so tell them to set the table). Adults recall relaxed conversations (so ask someone else to make pies so you can chat). Almost no one remembers what they ate.

And pacing is important. There are guides with timelines for when to start preparing foods. There are tips (like clear out the fridge on Wednesday, rather than trying to jam everything in on Thursday) and tricks (tell your guests to bring their own to-go containers) that make everything easier.

But most of all, focus on making the holidays fun for you, rather than perfect for everyone else.

It's okay to ditch the Turkey!

Turkey is .... not everyone's favorite. (True fact: No prisoner has ever requested turkey as a last meal.)*

But, fear not! A thanksgiving meal consists of just a few simple staples.

For the main dish, how about a Roast Chicken with Maple Butter and Rosemary? Or a Ham? Or, if you're feeling really crazy, Pomegranate Glazed Salmon?

If you want to get adventurous on the pies, let me recommend Green Chile Apple Pie. (So sweet, but also so hot.) And it turns out there's a lot of great mail-order pies out there.

If you cook a turkey, remember to dry-brine the bird for three days. (Coating a turkey in salt draws out moisture pockets, which dissolve the salt, which causes the flesh to re-absorb the water more evenly, delivering a juicier meal. It also makes the skin crispier.)

*Actually, I made that up. But it's probably true.

Happy Thanksgiving! Let me know what you've got planned!

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