The Research Behind Chilling Out

It's a busy time of year. Achieving zen can be difficult. So what does science tell us about finding our bliss?

Relaxation is an active state.

Trying to relax by seeking stillness doesn't often work. We need to do something to relax. That's because our brains are constantly traveling the continuum between “fight-or-flight” (that feeling in your stomach when an unwelcome email arrives), and “rest and digest” parasympathetic activation (which emerges, for instance, watching your favorite TV show while half-asleep).

To relax, nothingness usually won't bring calm. Rather, we need to push away stress triggers (which, sneakily, might pop up in a fast-paced TV show, or the endless scroll of social media), and instead seek out feelings of safety, (such as taking a deep breath, or doing something that makes us feel in control, or triggers a flow state).

That's why reading a book is often relaxing: Our brain shifts into a focused, trance-like state similar to meditation. It's also why exercise often helps us unwind: It gives us a sense of agency, and releases neurotransmitters associated with contentedness.

So, if you want to relax, have a plan. Start by asking yourself: What makes me feel safe? (A full stomach? A quiet room? A Netflix comedy?) And what causes slight tension? (A horror movie? Doom scrolling? Thinking about tomorrow's meeting?) Then, create a relaxation plan that increases the safety and decreases the stress. (Tonight, I'm watching The Office, eating pasta and putting my phone in another room.)

The noises around you — and the sounds you make — can invite calm.

A series of studies found that certain kinds of noisemaking – like humming – can trigger relaxation. (Bhramari breathing involves inhaling deeply through the nose and exhaling slowly with a continuous, low-pitched humming sound, like there's a bee in your throat. The oxygenation of deep breathing causes your muscles to relax, and the vibrations of the "m" sound activate the vagus nerve and parasympathetic nervous system.) Humming for just 60 to 120 seconds can bring down your heart rate and cortisol, and improve sleep and emotional control.

Or, seek silence. Removing background pings, phone alerts and cubicle chatter has been shown to lower blood pressure and trigger neurons associated with better focus. (Noise cancelling headphones are fairly cheap.)

Best of all, take a nap. Numerous studies show closing your eyes for just 10 to 20 minutes triggers 'recovery neurotransmitters' that make us feel refreshed. (A cup of coffee when you wake – a 'nappuccino' – multiplies the benefits.)

Finally, wash your sheets: Clean, crisp sheets can trigger a sense of order and peacefulness. Studies show that people who wash their sheets more frequently sleep better.

Screens are fine. It's what's on them that matters.

We've been told that screens are terrible. But the real disruptor isn’t a screen's blue light, it's what you’re doing on your screen. Interactive, emotionally charged activities — like gaming, scrolling, shopping, or a suspenseful show — often overstimulate our brains. In contrast, familiar, low-stakes content (like watching a favorite program, especially if you've seen it before) helps us chill.

Also don't check your email so often: 'Screen apnea' is a stress-response that occurs when we encounter an anxious interruption (why's he emailing me at night?!) and momentarily stop breathing, or start taking shallower breaths, which pushes our nervous system into high alert. The result is a sense of depletion and exhaustion. (That's why you feel so tired when you see that email you were dreading: Your breathing has momentarily gotten worse.)

Finally, if you must be on your screen, try watching slow, boring videos of people cooking, or cutting hair, or writing on the chalk board. For some people, this kind of stimulation, known as ASMR, triggers a tingling sensation and slows their heart rate. (Ask a teenager — they'll tell you all about their favorite ASMRs.)

If all else fails, try a sand bath, or get overheated in a sauna, or hang out with your pet.

Lots of cultures have relaxation routines we can learn from. In Japan, sand baths are popular because the warmth and pressure of the sand, combined with the forced stillness, helps people drift off. In the Nordic countries (and California), saunas are de rigueur (Finland has more saunas than cars) because the heat and sweating triggers endorphins (and has other benefits, including heart health, pain relief and stress reduction). Or, play with your dog or cat or guinea pig: Numerous studies show that showing some love to our pets works on our brain the same way as receiving love from a human. (Just don't do the bath and your animals simultaneously.)

How do you relax? What's your go-to 'chill out' routine? Let me know!

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